Maybe It's Fate
by once-there-was-a-dragon
Summary: The first time Phil Lester saw his soul mate was at his best friend's party. The fact that these two characters even met was most likely just accidental. Fate if you're being generous. But, in the end and either way you wish to look at it, Phil Lester that night found probably the only person in existence who could love every entire part of him. Songfic! (Words-Passenger)


**Hey, it's me again with another kinda depressing fanfic. (Well, songfic?) One huge recommendation is to listen to this song while reading it; it will 'like set the mood and all'. Check it out: Words – Passenger (youtube is great)**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own the danistnotfire or Amazingphil brand names nor claim this to be in any way real. Also Words by Passenger ISN'T MINE. I don't claim ownership to any song lyrics written; Passenger is the legend, not me.**

 **WARNINGS: Could be seen as slightly depressing. Please be careful and as always, please don't read if this triggers you. Your safety comes first.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Maybe It's Fate**

The first time Phil Lester saw his soul mate was at his best friend's party.

The person was stole away his heart stood in the middle of a road, a laugh on his lips and stars in his eyes, even though he hadn't noticed him then. Quite honestly, the fact that these two characters even met was most likely just accidental. Fate if you're being generous. But, in the end and either way you wish to look at it, Phil Lester that night found probably the only person in existence who could love every entire part of him; flaws and faults included.

Phil had just stumbled out of his best friend's party. It was late, 2:34 am late. He was tired, drunk, and ready to sleep for an eternity. If Phil was being honest to himself, the only reason he had agreed to this party was because he needed a break from everything. And yeah, alcohol poisoning isn't actually ideal, but it works. He had stumbled out the roughly painted blue wooden front doors of the place onto the tarmac, when he saw him. Standing of middle of the road, with the brightest brown eyes, wearing the weirdest arrangement of clothing possible.

And it when this Phil cracked a stupid joke to boy is when their fates became entwined. Drunk and possible high, Phil couldn't help busting out laughing. That would have been strange in a way; but Phil just knew that it wasn't, like his heart just knew. The brown eyed boy looked straight back at him, confusion written all over his face for why it that funny, but seconds later and probably because he was just as drunk, he couldn't stop the laughter either. And these two strangers stood in the middle of the road, tears rolling down their cheeks from all the laugher their stomachs couldn't hold. And for the first time for a long time, they were both happy.

It didn't take long for Phil to find out that the brown eyed boy's name was Dan Howell; and he was 23 and a student at some bizarrely named university somewhere studying Law. It also take long for the two to end up back at the party, nor in sitting rather comfortably on patched up leather sofa with beers left forgotten. Phil held tight to this man, arm wrapped round his waist with Dan's head on his chest. They would have both been liars to say that being here together didn't feel right.

Well maybe they would have been; it felt beyond right. Fate in fact.

Maybe it was fate that brought these two people together.

Yet, Phil knew in his heart that he couldn't stay. For Phil already had built his life, with the perfect job, and a perfect girl, and the perfect house with even a dog. He swallowed and took breath. "Dan, Dan baby…" And the eyes of his soul mate looked back at him, so bright and full even though they had known each other for hours. Regardless of the fact that it felt like it felt as though they had known each other for life time.

"Um-hum Philly." Dan slurred back, straining his neck back to look at his newly founded black haired and blue eyed angel.

"Dan," Phil swallowed again the guilt and sadness, "Dan, I can't stay. I've got a girl back home Dan, and I love her just as much as you. A girl and a home, and even a fucking dog. "

But Dan only smiled sadly back at him. And then he broke their hearts the very first time. "Oh Phil." A tear round down a rosy cheek. "Oh Philly, I understand." And then with one last kiss to Phil's' cheek, he stood. "I guess I just never knew, that I could get my heart broken in less than a day."

Dan turned slowly, legs wobbly and hands shaking, and left. Phil was sure that alcohol poisoning would hurt less.

The next time Phil Lester would see Dan Howell would be in 2 years' time. And it could have been fate. Phil had divorced his first beloved and high school sweetheart a year after his first incident meeting Dan; not because of it, just because it was never going to work. They had grown to be two very different people. She wanted the world, and he wanted a home. It would be a strange second meeting between the two.

It was mid-afternoon in the Lester Household. Sun shining brightly outside and a cool autumn breeze blowing gently through the windows bringing soft and warm scents. The occasion dog barked, and car beeped, and plane buzzed overhead. But it peaceful. Time had almost slowed for it had no need to run. Phil was submerged within one of his favourite novels, work for the mean time forgotten.

A doorbell rang. It's shrill almost broke the peace for it was so out of place. Yet Phil stood, placing his book on the coffee table, that was stained with cup stains and covered mostly with odd bits of paper from his work at the BBC. For he was now a radio presenter.

Phil opened his front door. But he may as well been opening up an old injury. His heart stuttered at the sight. A man with red raw eyes, tear stained cheeks, shaking even though it was warm stood there.

"D-dan-n?"Phil managed before the air was knocked out of him by the huge hug that Dan Howell launched at him.

The rest afternoon flew. They sat wrapped up in blankets with hot chocolate regardless of the weather. Holding each other so tight because they never wanted to let go. Dan sobbed out his heart, with worries and sadness and plain awful pain to the man he loved. And Phil listened back and told Dan he would be alright now. _They're here together._

Yet Phil just wanted to cry just as hard because he felt it so hard saying that. Because insurance isn't easy to give. When you never been sure of anything much, and gets less so the longer you live.

The two sat hours together. Until the sun set and moon rose to take her place in dark night sky with the rest of the little lights that lit up the sky. Buffy marathons and conversation, take-a-way pizzas and stolen kisses. It was perfect. This was life that they both had imagined together until they grew old. At one point they even fell asleep in each other's arms with long legs twisted and the oddest angles imaginable. But it felt right. Beyond right. Fate.

They could have stayed like that for an eternity.

Yet when the rays of the morning streaked through the newly washed windows, reflected colours of the blue curtains, Dan softly turned to Phil, gently nudging him awake.

"Phil. Phil I… I got to tell you something." Phil looked into them eyes of his lover. The sadness he could see broke his heart.

Dan swallowed, bowing his head because it hurt. "Phil, I can't stay. I've given my heart and word, Phil. He loves me. I can't leave him. I love you Philly."

"I know." Phil said with a soft voice.

And in the early rays of sunrise, two men hugged. Hearts for the second time broken. And eyes for millionth time full of tears.

Phil never knew he could his heart broken in so many ways.

The last time that Phil saw Dan, was a 7 months down line. The brightest day, for what should have been the happiest day of someone's life. But to Phil, it could have been pouring rain. And Dan's hair was a little shorter, clean cut. And he wore a beautiful black suit with a silky blue tie. Yet, everything else was still the same; with a laugh on his lips and stars in his eyes. Even though they had met.

Phil could have told Dan that he was the world to him. His entire universe and every solar system in it. Every atom, and molecule, and planet, and star. Phil could have told Dan that he adore him; and I'm sure Dan could had said just the same.

But I guess, in a way, they were just less nuclear fusions and more nuclear fissions.

For Dan stood next to another man at the altar of a church, holding hands, locked eyes. Dan was getting married to man who had promised him a life. And all Phil could do now was watch on at the man he could have had, the life he could lived.

It may of fate when Dan caught sight of Phil watching steadily on from the back of blue themed decorated church. And when their eyes locked for the very last time, and when every felt a blur because it was just them.

Yet, they knew. They knew with their hearts that this is just the way it is. So just smiled, because they knew sometimes words, aren't the right words to say.

So maybe it was fate that these two people met. But they like to believe it wasn't, because how it was fate that two soul mates couldn't be together? Maybe it was bad timing, an accidental meeting, or bad luck. Maybe it was the end of chapter in their lives, or maybe it was just the start.

 **The End**

 **A/N: DISCLAIMER #2: (whoop)**

 **Song lyrics used within this piece:**

 **The first that I saw her.**

 **Standing in the middle of the road.**

 **Darling, y'know, darling y'know I can't stay, for I've given my heart and word to a boy/girl far away**

 **I guess I just never knew, that I could get my heart broken in less than a day.**

 **The next that I saw her, would a year or so.**

 **Because insurance isn't easy to give. When you never been sure of anything much, and gets less so the longer you live.**

 **Never knew he could his heart broken in so many ways.**

 **The last time that I saw her, standing in the pouring rain.**

 **So just smiled, because they knew sometimes words, aren't the right words to say.**

 **Seriously though, go check out this song!**

 **Thank-you all for reading! It's very much appreciated, and I hope you liked it! (I tried guys, I'm supposed to be studying for my As levels and all but this happened…) Here's your reader appreciation cookie: (::)**

 **~once-there-was-a-dragon x**

 **Stay safe, Dream Big xx**


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